Hello lovelies!
Here is your Power to the Pelvis Newsletter for November! The holiday season is officially upon us, fall is in full swing, and those chilly nights for bundling up are upon us!
Let’s get real for a second — when’s the last time you actually felt connected during intimacy, not just going through the motions? So many of my clients have shared that sex has become one more “thing to do,” rather than something that fills their cup. The truth is, libido and orgasm are about so much more than hormones — they’re about nervous system safety, body connection, and the ability to let go.
Let’s explore some of the real factors that influence pleasure — and how your pelvic floor plays a bigger role than you might think.
* Tip of the Month: From ‘Just Fine’ to Fireworks 🔥
If you’ve never experienced orgasm, or if you’ve noticed changes in sensation or desire, this can be deeply impactful. Let’s explore some factors that might be playing a role — and what you can do to reconnect with pleasure.
1. You’re Not Broken
Difficulty achieving orgasm is common and not a sign of dysfunction. Many factors influence arousal and orgasm — it’s not just about “trying harder” or “relaxing more.”
2. Accelerator & Brakes
Your sexual response system has:
🚦 Accelerators: things that turn you on
🛑 Brakes: things that turn you off
Often, orgasm difficulty comes from stronger brakes — not a faulty accelerator. Nervous system regulation (your stress response) also plays a big role here.
3. Context Matters — A LOT
Arousal depends on feeling safe, comfortable, and unjudged. Stress, body image, past trauma, or even a messy room can shut things down. Good sex happens when your environment and mindset support arousal — mentally, emotionally, and physically.
4. Desire Styles Vary (and That’s Normal)
💥 Spontaneous desire happens out of the blue. 🌿 Responsive desire develops after arousal begins (like during touch or connection). Many women experience responsive desire — and that’s completely normal.
5. Pleasure > Performance
Focus on what feels good, not on achieving orgasm as a goal. When you let go of pressure and stay curious about sensation, orgasm often becomes more accessible.
6. Nonconcordance Is Real
Physical arousal (lubrication, swelling) doesn’t always match mental arousal — and vice versa. It’s okay if your body and brain don’t always sync — they’re still learning how to work together.
I will say that having a good lube is SUPER important. You can check out some of my faves here!
7. Self-Knowledge Is Empowering
Explore what feels good without pressure. Solo touch, fantasy, and mindfulness can all support your journey. Knowing your turn-ons, turn-offs, and arousal patterns helps guide your partner, too.
8. Pelvic Floor Tension May Be a Factor
Chronic tightness, pain, or disconnect in pelvic floor muscles can dampen arousal. Reconnecting with your body through breath, movement, and pelvic floor therapy can improve those pleasure pathways.
💗 Want personalized support or an exam to see what’s really going on?
📍 Book a pelvic floor session (in-person or virtual):
👉 Schedule here
* IG I'm loving:
✨ Want some fun tips to spice up your intimate life?
Check out my friend Lindsey’s Instagram
She and her husband Doug share playful, down-to-earth intimacy strategies that have supported their 20-year marriage — with kids, chaos, and all.
* BONUS CONTENT: Want more?
Check out the blog on my website for some more tips on how to have a better orgasm
Did you try any of these tips? I'd love to know what you think. I read every email! And if you have something you are curious about or want more information on, let me know... maybe I'll add it to my next newsletter!
See you next month!
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#thebigo #orgasmawareness #clitorit #pleasurematters #mountainmamapelvichealth
